Happy 5th birthday Clara Godfrey
You’ve spent the entire last year of your life in a global pandemic, and what a year it’s been. You’ve adapted and adjusted, and might hardly remember a time when you didn’t wear a mask wherever you went. Here are some of the things I remember most from the past 12 months:
School:
Your preschool (Tulane Montessori) shut down along with everything else back in March. Thankfully, our neighbor Talia (6th grade) was there to pick up the slack. She ran a “school” for you and Zane, which may not have resulted in much learning, but was a nice distraction at a time when society had basically ground to a halt.
Mercifully, Tulane was among the first schools that was able to reopen for in-person learning, welcoming you back in the summer. The school day was a bit shorter, and you had to wear and mask and keep your distance from other students. But you were OUT OF THE HOUSE, which made you the envy of pretty much everyone we know.
Seven months later, you still get more school+office time than the rest of the family combined. Just remember this next time you try to tell me how terrible your life is.
Rolling:
In the early days of lockdown, our only outlet was the church parking lot. You used to scooter, but once your brothers learned to ride a bike, you wanted in too. Thank goodness for Gaby. She had you up and riding by early April, and shortly after the tricks started.
But if two wheels are good, four must be even better. So Gaby taught you to skateboard too.
Speaking of scooters and bikes, Grandma bought you a bike bell and basket for Colt’s 9th birthday (yes, you get gifts from Grandma on someone else’s birthday). You were so excited, declaring “My bike’s going to be better than the brothers, because my bike’s prettier and puffier.” Which, I guess is true. Except that it’s Cam’s old bike and he decided to reclaim it, at least for a quick ride down memory lane.
Special Moments:
These birthday posts often hit on the big events from the past year, but there are so many little things that make you you. Or that I just really treasure. Example: you have the best giggle. I mean all kids have great giggles, but yours is a whole other level of cuteness and amazing. Especially when you’re hiding and trying to be quiet, but you’re so excited that you just can’t hold it in. That giggle that makes me giggle, which makes you giggle even more. I love that giggle.
Or when you cry, and a single tear rolls down your face and hits your lip. And you tell me “the drip from my eye tastes good.” And I explain that it’s because of the salt, and the next time it happens you say “because of the salt in it, it tastes good.” And I’m excited that you’re learning something but also now worried that you have even more motivation to cry. Which is not something you need.
And still one of my favorite parts of each day is coming into your room after you fall asleep to tuck you back in.
I give you a kiss on your forehead (only occasionally waking you in the process), tuck you back under the covers, and turn off your reading light (which is left on 100% of the time). This will never get old and I’ll treasure this ritual until you outgrow it.
Tantrums:
Back on the subject of crying. You like to cry. Like, a lot. And when you cry, you get pretty bold. Screaming through tears “I’m not listening to you!! You have to listen to me!!!” Or when I threaten to take away a stuffed animal and you scream “Then I’ll take away YOUR stuff!!!”
When you’re happy, you’re over the moon. But when you’re sad — watch out!. And there’s really no in-between. You basically have three states of being: Happy, sad, and asleep.
But in June, you had this miraculous day where you didn’t cry. No crying in the morning, no crying at school, no crying after school before your nap, or after your nap, or at dinner, or before bed. Gaby had set up a list where you could earn check marks for each thing (eating breakfast, etc) and if you did everything AND didn’t cry, you’d get the ultimate prize: a big check mark. Well, on this one glorious day you nailed it. We figured we’d solved it and you’d rarely cry again.
The next day you cried at least three times before 8am. And every day since. So much for that.
Screens:
Actually, you do have a fourth state of being: Comatose. You enter this state whenever you have an iPad, as you put on a video and gaze intently from about 6 inches away.
That wouldn’t be so terrible if you weren’t so…what’s the word?…obsessed. You’re always asking to use the iPad, and groan when I say no. Or when Mom says yes and I come an hour later to end your session.
You’ve also created a bit of a false-equivalency with your brothers. Like, if Colton (who barely touched an iPad before he was five) is chatting with one of your cousins and maybe playing a a game of Roblox with her, you scream that you should be on an iPad too! Of course, you don’t mention or recall how much time you spend on Gaby’s screens. More on that in a sec…
Extended Family:
Arguably the WORST part of this pandemic for us has been not seeing our extended family. It’s been well over a year since you’ve hugged Grandma or spent real actual time together. Ditto for Ama, Agong and you aunts, uncles and cousins who you haven’t seen since August 2019. The only saving grace has been, ironically, screens. We’ve done some group video chats with the Wu clan, and we FaceTime with Grandma every Sunday. And the person you appear to video chat the most with is Gaby’s mom. She speaks little English, and presumably you’re not yet fluent in Portuguese, but you make it work.
Awesomeness:
In your 4th birthday post we emphasized the need to be awesome. You took that direction and ran with it. We’ve already talked about your biking and snowboarding, but a few more examples.
- You used to be scared on the swings, but now you demand me to “push me higher!” And Emma Best taught you how to swing by yourself, which gives me some much-needed rest.
- We put you a gymnastics class, and for you the most exciting part was the leotards. As far as I can tell it was mostly just running an jumping on a mat, but it got you out of the house for a couple hours a day, which is about all anyone could ask for in 2020.
- You don’t have any organized sports (yet), but needless to say you stay quite active. You tried ballet, which, like gymnastics, was more about the outfits than anything. You like to jump into our family catches, and even play some tackle football with the brothers.
- You can dunk a basketball (with a little help), box the fiercest of opponents, and are not shy about showing off your guns.
- And most awesome for me is how you’ve started to really help out. You love to scramble eggs, bread chicken, spread cheese on pizza or tortillas, or really anything else related to cooking. And when it’s all done, you even sometimes help clean up.
Music:
You love music, but aren’t very discriminate. Except that you seem to hate every song I like. But otherwise, you’re happy to just ask Alexa to play whatever is on your mind. Example: One day after asking me to help you get changed you said “Alexa: play help me get changed” which led to a Sundowners song called “help me get me my tie on.” So now we listen to the sundowners…
Recently I was with Colt and Cam and heard music coming from the piano. As I approached the room, I realized it was you composing some original music: Clara’s song
The lyrics were something like this:
You just be at Alex’s house
Sleeping over at their house
He didn’t notice the mom and the dad
The mom and the dad had to deal with them
Clara said oh no oh no oh no
Oh no oh no oh no oh no
They all went potty and say [unintelligible]
The only thing that broke your stride? Asking Alexa to “play ‘Oh No’” of course. Old habits die hard…
Tahoe:
We tried to go to Tahoe over Thanksgiving, but with covid driving up demand, renting a house for that weekend would have been almost as expensive as buying one. So we went a week earlier, which is all the same to you. You still got to eat treats, watch your iPad, and of course get out in the snow.
You and Gaby tore it up on the sledding hill, and mom got in on the action too.
Gaby also helped you make a snowman, a snow angel, and to craft the most perfect snowball, which you cherished for at least 5 minutes until you got distracted and forgot about it forever.
But there’s more to Tahoe than just snow (and treats, and iPads). There’s the hot tub, of course, in which you spent countless hours dunking your head and watching ice melt. And when it was time to test your skills at the ping pong table, you carefully sized up the ball, lined up your shot, and blew an ace past Colt. He was not pleased.
Ladies Club:
Covid has really made it hard for you to build a friend group. You have buddies at school, but playdates with new families are sort of frowned upon right now. Thankfully, your kinship with the local moms is as strong as ever. Whether it’s floating down a river, getting fierce, or just hanging at home, you’re always in the center of the action.
And lest you think it’s only the moms, there are plenty of dads around who think of you as the daughter they never had.
Coming out of the pandemic, we’ll get you a proper social group your own age. I promise. But until then, you could do a lot worse than this ragtag crew.
Make Believe:
You’ve gotten really into playing make-believe.
You’ll spend untold time with dolls, stuffed animals, lego figurines, and whatever else, concocting intricate scenes of drama and intrigue. At least I assume that’s what you’re doing — I honestly can’t follow the plots. But it’s great to see you using your imagination and entertaining yourself. Especially until you learn how to read.
It’s also a lot better than when you ‘make believe’ that Mom or I said you could have something or that we’d go somewhere or that you don’t have to eat your vegetables. Make believe “play” = good. Make believe “I can do whatever I want” = bad.
Random Story:
Your brothers really really really wanted new football gloves. Not to be left out, you had to have them too. So on Christmas morning, you each had a gift from none other than THE DK Metcalf!
Later you were showing me how they were way too big and I commented that they were the smallest ones I could find.
You: “Wait, you got these for me?”
Me: “Uhh…DK Metcalf got them for you, remember?”
You: “But you just said…”
Me: “Uhh, um, uhh…well, I had to tell DK what size you are. He doesn’t know everything like Santa does.”
What I assume you were thinking: Whatever, at least I got some sweet new gloves
I’m pretty impressed/amazed that you that were able to think this all the way through. And that you knew when to stop questioning and enjoy the gift. Let’s just say that your brothers weren’t calling me out on stuff like that when they were four.
Style:
No Clara birthday post would be complete without a quick mention regarding your unique sense of style. There are already plenty of photos throughout this post showcasing your love of color and stripes and polkadots and patterns and really anything interesting. I’ll just say that adding masks to the mix has simply enhanced the cuteness of your outfits.
And rocking a headband or riding a bull certainly doesn’t hurt either.
You and Gaby:
You and Gaby have this amazing relationship. The boys have each other, and of course you get into the mix with them (more on that in a minute). But Gaby is like your big sister.
She taught you how to bike and skate. She took you shopping for a new outfit for your first day of school. And got you ice cream of course. She is the master of doing your hair and nails. She does art with you, and even gives you top billing on projects that I’m pretty sure are 95% her. She lets you crash her room, hang with her friends, and FaceTime with her family.
Most importantly, she is helping to guide you through life. How to distinguish good from bad, right from wrong, and awesome from lame. It makes me a little sad when you say “why do YOU always pick me up from school? I want Gaby to do it!” But it also makes me happy to know you’ve built such a special bond.
You and the brothers:
You and your brothers don’t always get along. And by “not always”, I mean rarely. There’s a lot of fighting, a lot of screaming, and a seeming belief that anything in their possession is of critical need for you to have immediately.
But, in the brief interludes between fights, when you don’t realize that anyone is watching, some pretty amazing moments occur. You’ll chase bubbles with Cam. Or Colt will read you a book. Or they’ll work together to pick you up. Or you’ll build tie-die shirts together.
Or, if you guard is really down, you might even stop fighting over who gets which blanket and snuggle up together.
And regardless, when the camera comes out, you guys seem to find a way to bring your coolest look or best smile
You and Mom:
Mom calls you her mini-me, and it’s so true. I see so much of her in you, and when you guys fight (which, um, is pretty often), it’s like watching a chicken fight it’s own reflection in a mirror.
You definitely know how to push each other’s buttons. But Mom is also teaching your her ways. Making sure you know how to use chopsticks. And how to trim the flowers. And how to show your disapproval with whatever I did wrong (an important skill in our house):
All that said, it’s the lighter moments I enjoy. Like when Mom is scheming to bestow her wardrobe upon you:
You: when I’m bigger I can wear mom’s shoes!
Mom: hopefully you’ll be the same size and you can wear all my stuff
You: I’ll wear ALL mom’s clothes, and she’ll be naked forever!
Or when you help mom workout. Or to bake. Or pair up with her to dominate beer pong.
And while you love to create art as gifts for almost everyone (except, for some reason, me), your drawings disproportionately seem to be either pictures of Mom, or dedicated to Mom.
Maybe you feel guilty for tormenting her? Or you just like to lower her guard for the next chicken fight? Whatever your strategy, it’s working. Keep pulling those strings.
You and me:
There’s so much to say when it comes to you and me. Where to start? With a brag, obviously! Here is your 100% accurate, not at all embelished “my dad is a superhero” project from school:
I’m not sure “super strong” is the most accurate way to describe me, but it is reassuring to know that I can run faster than a raccoon. Those dudes are scary…
And even though one of my superpowers is definitely NOT singing, I do enjoy making up songs for you. Afterwards you’ll say “sing it again!” (Which I can’t, because, I just kinda made it up on the fly) or “do another one!” (Which, ugh, it took all my intellectual creativity to do the first one). Basically I’m your own personal Wayne Brady, but without the talent, good looks, fame, or fortune.
What’s that? You don’t know who Wayne Brady is? 1,826 days on this earth and you’ve never seen Wayne Brady?!? Here you go.
The one song that has stuck is about tooth brushing, sung during toothbrushing, to distract you and also ensure an adequate amount of toothbrushing. To the tune of “I’ve been working on the railroad”:
I’ve been brushing Clara’s tee-eeth, all the live long day (ay ay ay)
I’ve been brushing Clara’s tee-eeth, just to brush the plaque away
Can’t you see me brushing Clara’s teeth, they are getting clean (oh…and shiny!)
Can’t you see me brushing Clara’s teeth, they are getting clean (oh…and shiny!)
Very very clean (oh…and shiny!)
But SHEEEEEEEEE said…
I don’t wanna brush, I don’t wanna brush, I don’t wanna brush my teeth right now.
I just wanna eat…CANDY!, and I just wanna drink…JUICE!, and keep my teeth real dirty!
Well short of the recommended two minutes, but I brush very efficiently. If you want to see the actual song in action, knock yourself out.
I also love our walks to and from school. In the spring we look for flowers and each try to be the first to spot a unique color (“oh…a purple one!”). In the fall we compete to step on leaves, with me yelling “Dad smash!” while you yell “Clara smash!” On rainy days you get excited to bring an umbrella. And in the winter we fight over whether you need a warm coat (you do).
But my favorite moments are the little things. Like when you’ll spontaneously declare to no one in particular “I love dah-ddy!” Or when I ask you to do something and you say “I could, but I choose not to” — which is exactly what I would say. Or when we get bored of signing you into school and start drawing random animals instead:
Basically, we have a lot of fun together. Except when you’re crying and screaming. Or when you’re tired. Or when I’m tired. Or when I won’t let you use the iPad. Or when I ask you to eat a vegetable. Or to not eat “snacks.”
So, occasionally.
You’re a bundle of energy. You light up every room you enter and demand everyone’s attention. You have high highs and some low lows, and a clear zest for living. You’ve handled this pandemic year without a hitch and made it your own. If I have to shelter in place, I’m glad it’s with you. Happy 5th birthday Clara!
